Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Day 1 - Desire For Reconciliation

Genesis 3:1-10
1 The serpent was clever, more clever than any wild animal God had made. He spoke to the Woman: "Do I understand that God told you not to eat from any tree in the garden?"
2-3 The Woman said to the serpent, "Not at all. We can eat from the trees in the garden. It's only about the tree in the middle of the garden that God said, 'Don't eat from it; don't even touch it or you'll die.'"
4-5 The serpent told the Woman, "You won't die. God knows that the moment you eat from that tree, you'll see what's really going on. You'll be just like God, knowing everything, ranging all the way from good to evil."
6 When the Woman say that the tree looked like good eating and realized what she would get out of it - she'd know everything!- she took and ate the fruit and then gave some to her husband, and he ate.
7 Immediately the two of them did "see what's really going on" - saw themselves naked! They sewed fig leaves together as makeshift clothes for themselves.
8 When they heard the sound of God strolling in the garden in the evening breeze, the Man and his Wife hid in the trees of the garden, hid from God.
9 God called to the Man: "Where are you?"
10 He said, "I heard you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked. And I hid."

The first two chapters of Genesis speak of God's amazing Creation. Chapter 3 speaks of the rebellion of humankind. And the remainder of the Message details God's intricate and loving plan to redeem, restore, and reconcile creation back to himself after what happened in Genesis 3. God's plan hinges on what happened in the garden.

Oh how often we run away from God. Especially when we do the one thing that we know not to do, but do anyway, and then try and hide from God. We know that we have done wrong, much like Adam and Eve knew it. They saw that they were naked and wanted to hide from God because he would see what they had done. I wonder why God called out to Adam "Where are you?" if he knows everything. It's almost as if he was saying, "Adam, my child, I know that you are hiding from me, but I wish to see your face." I think that God was very sad that Adam and Eve hid. He loved them. He loves you and he loves me. He doesn't want us to hide... not that we have to or can. But he wants us to put our burdens on him. He wants to either share or carry the load. When we are most tempted to hide from God is when we have done something that we know is wrong. Like taking a cookie from the cookie jar just before supper and hiding from your mother while eating it. 'Cause you know she's going to tell you "You'll spoil you're appetite!" and she'll forbid you to take one. But gosh darn it, there's nothing that hits the spot like an Oreo cookie!

There is no better way to begin to understand God's Message than to grasp our separation from him because of sin and our desperate need for him to reconcile our relationship. Take some time to confess those areas where you have deliberately rebelled against God.

Well, I know that I have done many things to rebel, but I think the one thing I keep on doing is trying to do things on my own... trying to be an independant person... getting stressed out. But I know that what I should do is ask God to give me strength and guidance as to what it is I should do. And I try to make plans time and time again, but God is telling me that I need to focus on what his plan is for me and not always worry about what is going to happen tomorrow. Tomorrow can worry about itself. Chill.

Knowing that you and everyone else on earth have rebelled against God, what do you feel? In what ways does this knowledge affect the way you live your life?

Well, the first thing I think of is that I am not alone. And there are many people out there that think that they need to keep hiding. And they are ashamed of the things that they have done, just as Adam and Eve were ashamed that they were naked. There are also people out there that don't even realize the bad things that they are doing with their lives, and I think at times that I do that as well. And I need to be more attentive to the things that I just ignore or deliberately don't think about. I want to spend more time with God, and that is part of the reason why I am writing my devotional as my blog post. And He knows what is in my heart, and even if it doesn't come out like I plan it out in my head, it's ok.

Verses and devotional afterthoughts taken from "The Message//Remix: Solo - An Uncommon Devotional by Eugene H. Peterson

Friday, July 4, 2008


So I have made a promise to myself that I'm going to stop buying so much stuff and think about every purchase I make before I hand over my credit card to the accepting person behind the cash register. It's becoming too easy to just pick everything I like and magically pay for it with a piece of plastic. It's not like I'm completely in debt by this point, but the expenses of moving into a new place and re-furnishing rooms-Ikea is evil by the way... but the kind of evil that is mostly harmless, but then you leave the store (hands full of swedish stuff) wondering if you were just brainwashed in some way- is staring to painfully add up.

After just paying my credit cards off for this month, I feel like I've cut off one of my limbs unnessarily and can't get it back. Even when I was packing up my room for the move, there was so much stuff.... most of which I don't use at all. It's sad what my life has come to... all that crap loaded up in boxes just to be thrown in a drawer or closet somewhere... just waiting to be taken out and packed up again when another move rears its ugly head. And the visious cycle continues.

I'm saving up to buy a car... and I dipped into that savings to pay bills this month... I have a plan to put it all back and then some by the end of the month, but it still feels like a little jab in the ribs that I had to do it in the first place... all because I bought a little bit too much stuff.

I feel like a hyprocrite... always commenting on how much stuff people just have jammed into their garages... the cars, the toys, the closets full of clothes. So much of that stuff is bought to highten or keep the level of social acceptance or power. And you know what, it's pretty lame. You can't take it with you... so why do I have this hunger inside of me for all this stuff?

I'm searching in all the wrong places to attempt to quench this thirst that I have. And the only answer is God's love. The ironic part about it is, when I started writing this post, I wasn't setting out to come to the conclusion that I need to spend more time with God, but I think that's the point. Silly me. Of course! I've been so worried about money, and about getting stuff taken care of, and being able to save up for a car that I have forgotten that I need to lay all those things down and ask God for his help and guidance. I'm filling my house with stuff... and I want to fill it, not just my house, but my life, with his love.

Thursday, April 17, 2008


I’ve been feeling overwhelmed this week with just about everything I do everyday. This morning I just wanted to stay under the covers and cuddle with my cat Mia until I didn’t feel exhausted anymore… just forget about the fact that I have to go to work; to a job that really as nothing to do with my future career plans… which is frustrating enough in itself. But I have to get up and open my eyes to a bedroom that is in serious need of cleaning… but not so serious that things are growing into the carpet or anything. I’ve just been so busy lately with life that by the time I get home it’s too late or I’m too tired to start cleaning… which sucks because I usually (more like never) don’t get any help from my roommate because she’s almost always gone somewhere.

So other than being stressed out about my messy room, I haven’t heard back from the college I applied to yet. I’m starting to get angry with myself for not handing in my portfolio sooner… and that my writing isn’t as good as everyone else’s who submitted… even a younger girl I work with is a better writer than me. And then I start to wonder what my parents are saying about me... sometimes I wish they would focus more on the good things that I do rather than all the negative stuff in my life… like I don’t already know that they’re there…

There’s so much pressure on young people today. Pressure to do well in High School to get a good post-secondary education… pressure to fulfill the hopes and dreams of their parents… pressure to kept a good job to pay for the good post-secondary education… pressure to keep the parents happy (which never ever really happens, by the way). Here I am, 21 years old; I have a full time job, I pay for rent, bills, and even my student loans all on my own, and I still feel like I have to please my parents with every decision I make. It’s not as bad as it used to be though. Since I became more independent, it’s much easier to stand my ground and not give in to everything they tell me to do. Don’t get me wrong, I still as for their advice, but I have to figure things on my own.

So many people are so busy with their lives that they don’t have time to just relax. God took a break too, so why don’t we? Living to work is not something that I want to do… even though it may feel like that’s the only thing I do these days… get up, go to work, come home, eat, go to bed and get up to do the same thing… but on the weekends, I feel like I am most myself… when I go to church on Sunday or get a chance to spend time with friends that are so dear to my heart. All my frustrations with work, my dirty apartment, my parents, and the prospect of getting into school in the fall… they fade.

I feel as if when I have such negative thoughts or get dragged down so much that it’s an attack aimed at me from none other but the devil himself. I’ve been reading a book that talks a bit about how God wants to prepare us for the battle of our lives… so that whatever storm may come, we’ll always make it through. And I feel as if Lucifer knows what a great life God has in store for me and wants to thwart everything that would make me know and have it.

It says in 1 Timothy 6: 7-8 “After all, we didn’t bring anything with us when we came into the world, and we certainly cannot carry anything with us when we die. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content.” I just wanted to end with this little thought… even as I’m writing this, I’m becoming more and more okay with the state of my life right now. I have clothing on my back… and I have food for the day and even the rest of the week. I need to feel content… not only about what it says in the verse, but the fact that just because my day isn’t going quite as well as I had hoped, there is always tomorrow, and the weekend… and even when I leave this earth, I’ll be up there with the big guy… for eternity…

Monday, April 14, 2008

this post is pretty lame...
but lame it must be...